Moving Sand

Ocean Beach Dunes 

Last week, San Francisco was experiencing a wave of incredible weather. Everyday, the temperature was around 80 degrees and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. On Saturday, September 7th, my friends and I decided to go to the beach. Now there are a few beaches to visit in San Francisco. Typically, most people go to Baker Beach because you can see the Golden Gate Bridge and the weather is generally nice. Another beach you can visit is Ocean Beach. Now Ocean Beach is in the heart of the Sunset. It has huge dunes that are great to roll down, fire pits for bonfires, and lots of hot surfer guys. The only problem is the water is absolutely freezing. Even on a hot day, going into the water would be a death sentence. Every surfer doesn't leave the shore unless they are completely zipped in a wetsuit. 

So on this hot day, we found a spot next to a group of girls with a loud speaker. It was awesome. These girls, who were no older than 14 or 15 years old, continued to get hit on by some 40-year-old guy. That was not awesome. I got to lie out in the sun, read my book, and eat snacks. It was the first time since I moved to the city that I wore a bathing suit. I could feel my skin absorbing all of the vitamin D. The combination of the warm sun, the fresh breeze, and the good music, was making this one of the greatest days in the city. Until…  

He was this genre of creepy

Yup, thats pretty much how it looked

            A fat ass seagull released a kamikaze reign of s**t fire all over my friends towel. The stench was revolting, so we resorted to burying that portion of her towel in the sand. After that incident, my friends decided to go for a wine run. I continued to lie on my towel and read my book, until the wind changed. The stench of rotting corpse surrounded our spot and overwhelmed my nostrils. No matter how many times I changed spots, the smell was still there, and getting stronger. When my friends finally returned with their wine, they too started to smell it. Just a few later, a group of kids in front of us started to scream. One of the kids was digging at the sand and uncovered a massive cluster of maggots. There were so many of them that it looked like the sand was moving. The kid continued to dig and ended up unburying a dead sea lion. A MASSIVE sea lion, I might add. You could see the entire outline of the body: the head, the flippers, and the tail. I am not going to lie, but I initially thought it was a human corpse. 

It looks like a guy in a wetsuit

At that point, our day at the beach was pretty much over. But, at least I got to sun bathe for a few hours. 

Let me recap my day at the beach.

1- beautiful weather

2- warm breeze

3- sun bathing

4- Old-man Creeper

5 - bird s**t

6- rotting sea lion corpse

hot dogs or legs?

7- no tan 

I guess that is just a sign from the universe that I should not go tanning.

#foreverpale 

Wanna See My Fog Tan?

My view living in Golden Gate Heights

I have been living in the Sunset for about a year. I started off in the Inner Sunset on top of a huge hill that overlooked Ocean Beach. At first, I was amazed at how sunny and clear the sky was. It seemed to be a moderate 65 degrees, with mild wind and partial clouds. (Hey, I could be a good weather person!) I thought I really scored moving to a district called The Sunset. After all, I grew up in Southern California, on the beach, where it is sunny and warm 345 days out of the year. Like an idiot, I even started bragging to my friends back home about my view and the awesome weather. It was very pleasant, until one morning I woke up, and the windows were covered with an opaque blanket of white. I honestly thought I had woken up in a John Carpenter movie where a group of vengeful ghosts would appear and start killing everyone. Oh wait, that's the plot of The Fog. But, you get my point.

I'd open my front door and see this. 

Found a pic of both. Gotta love the Internet

Adorbs 

The fog gave me this ominous feeling. I know that if I left the house, a band of psycho killers would murder me. What happened to the blazing sunshine? I ran to my roommates and asked them what was happening, but all they did was laugh. I thought it was a random change in the weather that would pass in a few days. As time went on, I began to realize that the fog is a frequent visitor of the Sunset. And when I say a frequent visitor, I mean it's that neighbor who constantly wants to come over and always finds excuses to enter your home. The neighbor who still asks to borrow a cup of sugar or wants to use some super glue. Sunset residents rarely see the sun, and when they do it's like seeing a unicorn or a double rainbow. Every morning, I find myself attempting to barter with the weather Gods for some sunshine. I plead with them to give us a glimmer of light  for just a few hours. **Disclaimer** Much to people's disbelief, I once was tan. There was a time, many moons ago, when my skin had the ability to absorb those glorious rays of light. It was also that same time when my skin glowed, not burned. Since, I have lived in SF, I have lost my base coat and my dignity. I now like to tell people I am working on my fog tan. My goal is to look completely transparent by the end of the year. I think I'm almost there.

*Cue angels singing*  

I Spy: Pale Skin Addition. 

As I was getting ready to publish this post, I looked outside my window and saw that the sun was actually coming out. Like, the sky is actually BLUE right now and there are only a few clouds in the sky. I must be hallucinating or something. The weather Gods must be reading this very blog and saw that adorable picture of the otter praying. I knew that it was a good idea. The sunshine is definitely not going to last, so I should probably get a few rays in while I have the chance. Hooray for SF's Indian summer!